The Worlds Funniest Dinosaur Jokes

Dinosaurs have been featured in many serious movies, from King Kong in 1933 and its remakes, through animations such as The Land Before Time series, and on to later special-effects-laden extravaganzas including the Jurassic Park/World features. They also are the focus of serious-minded research conducted in natural history museums and universities throughout the world. But dinosaurs have long been the focus of humor, including a bevy of jokes at the expense of these long-gone beasts, which roamed the earth millions of years ago. Here is a crop of  the funniest jokes involving the  terrible lizards, better known as dinosaurs: Why do museums have old dinosaur bones?Because they cant afford new ones! What does a triceratops sit on?Its tricera-bottom! Why did the  tyrannosaur  cross the road?Because chickens hadnt evolved yet.Because it was chasing a chicken.Because it was being chased by a chicken. What’s the best way to talk to a  velociraptor?Long distance! How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?Tea, Rex? What was 30 feet long, had a two-foot-long beak, and left crumbs all over the mattress?Pretzelcoatlus! Dad:  Why are you crying?Son:  Because I wanted to get a dinosaur for my baby sister.Dad:  Thats no reason to cry.Son:  Yes, it is. No one would trade me! How do you know theres a seismosaurus under your bed?Because your nose is two inches from the ceiling! What’s better than a talking vulcanodon?A spelling bee! Whats worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?A tyrannosaur  with a giraffe in its throat! What do you call a gigantoraptor that wont stop talking?A dino-bore! Why cant you hear a pterosaur using the bathroom?Because the p is silent! How can you tell theres an allosaurus in your bed?By the bright red A on its pajamas. Person 1:  I keep seeing  pteranodons  with orange polka dots.Person 2: Have you seen an eye doctor yet?Person 1:  No, just pteranodons with orange polka dots! How can you tell theres a stegosaurus in your refrigerator?The door wont close! What family does shantungosaurus belong to?I dont know. I dont think any family in our neighborhood owns one! What has a prominent head crest, a duck-like bill, and 16 wheels?A Maiasaura on roller skates! Why did carnivorous dinosaurs eat raw meat?Because they didnt know how to barbecue! What has sharp fangs and sticks to the roof of your mouth?A peanut butter and jeholopterus sandwich. Child 1:  Hey, who stepped on your foot?Child 2:  Well, did you see that  gorgosaurus  over there?Child 1:  Yes.Child 2:  Well, I didnt! What do you call a terrible, horrible, unpleasant dinosaur?A thesaurus. What is a dinosaurs least favorite reindeer?Comet! Why dont dinosaurs ever forget?Because they never knew anything in the first place! What happened when the brachiosaurus took the train home?He had to bring it back! Whats purple and green and wont stop singing?Barney taking a shower! What do you say to a 10-ton Albertosaurus wearing earphones?Whatever you want. He cant hear you! Child 1:  I lost my pet  iguanodon!Child 2:  Why dont you put an ad in the paper?Child 1:  What good would that do? He cant read! What did dinosaurs use to make their hot dogs?Jurassic pork! Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?Yes, one gorgosaurus and nine velociraptors! What dinosaur could jump higher than a house?All of them. Houses cant jump! What should you do if you find a blue dilophosaurus?Try to cheer him up!

The Rate Of Growth Of Coffee - 1114 Words

Expected rate of growth Coffee beverages are extremely popular in the United States, as they represent 75% of all caffeinated beverages consumed in the United States (Reynolds, 2014). Coffee shops make up the fastest growing restaurant business in the United States (Reynolds, 2014). VR Coffee Cafà © first year of sales is expected to be $850,000. We expect year two sales to increase 17.65% to $1,000,000 and year three to increase 20% to $1,200,000. We fully expect this large increase in sales because of two main reasons. First, we expect that our coffee shop will become increasingly popular in our community, due to word of mouth, increased store recognition, and increased store rating and positive feedback on social media apps like Yelp†¦show more content†¦Because of this statistic, we be focusing on one establishment, at least for five years until we feel that establishment will not meet the fate of so many small businesses that came before it. After the five year waiting period, we will look to expand into new markets, especially markets that are populated by young adult male gamers. We will look to strategically place our new businesses next to where there they are gathered in a high population, particularly near military training bases. One of those strategically placed locations will most likely be Biloxi, Mississippi. Biloxi is home to Keesler Air Force Base, which is a training base for new Airmen. Another thing that makes Biloxi, MS such an attractive location is that it is located in a highly tourist environment. Having a steady flow of Airmen, as well as having a lot of tourists, will definitely help this potential VR Coffee Cafà © location gain positive traction in the community. If this location turns out to be a success, we will then be looking at more locations near military training bases. Other potential expansion locations, besides being in close proximity to military training bases, are next to large college universities or cities that have large populati on of college students. Potential locations include: Gainesville, Florida (Home of University of Florida), State College, Pennsylvania (Home of Penn State University), and Blacksburg, Virginia (Home of Virginia Tech).

Dance music and club culture Essay Example For Students

Dance music and club culture Essay However it was the island of Ibiza where dance culture really began to establish itself, originally an impoverished island with a poor economy reliant upon the trading of salt; Ibiza eventually became known as the clubbers hot spot, by the mid 1960s tourist attraction had grown as homosexuals, Americans, and the British began visiting the beautiful island. It is argued by many that the club culture stemmed from the attitudes and behavior of the hippies in the 1970s. We will write a custom essay on Dance music and club culture specifically for you for only $16.38 $13.9/page Order now The large clubs in Ibiza grew out of the hippy counter-culture; the club Amnesia was once an old working farm used as a venue for bohemian parties for hippies and artists. By the 1980s, Ibiza had been commercialized so much, it held some of the biggest nightclubs in the Mediterranean and became a very popular and appealing holiday destination for young British music lovers who could come away and forget all normality of life. With the experience of Ibiza, came the experience of drugs. Ecstasy went over to Ibiza in the early 1980s, following the same route as international travelers, homosexuals and new age culturalists. Ecstasy provided a world outside the normal where people were free to feel unconstrained to their everyday life and enjoy the music and social togetherness with others around In 1987, Margaret Thatcher was elected third team and Britain was experiencing a general depression. The Thatcher years had laid down beliefs of living in a meritocratic society, and fostered materialist dreams that many would not be able to fulfill. However, at the time, the club scene was spectacularly expanding; that summer thousands of British people flocked to Ibiza for an extended vacation in an alternate reality. The club counter culture was opposing the political values of the government and was fighting for collectivity; ecstasy provided an outlet for these entrepreneurial impulses, enabling people to do something about participation rather than observation. The impact of ecstasy is a personal one, yet it brought people together in an unexplainable collective consciousness. The summer of 1988 was renamed the second summer of love, dance culture was now popularly accepted and commercialized. After returning from Ibiza the British clubbers did not want to end the parties, drugs and feelings of hedonism, and dance culture was reborn. However, the rebirth of this club culture did not prevail for long, before it came under scrutiny by the media. The press created a moral panic over the acid house phenomenon and in August 1988, the sun newspaper ran an investigation on the drug scene in Richard Branstons club heaven. The paper began featuring a series of articles on the Evil of ecstasy-danger drug that is sweeping discos and ruining lives. The nation became panicked by this counterculture of youth dance and drug taking, and the conservative government claimed acid house was corrupting innocent youth. Producer Brian Whitehouse banned all videos or records featuring the word acid on BBC TV show, top of the pops, and high street shops such as top shop were no longer allowed to sell clothes with smiley faced logos. Although the youth of the culture were seen as clashing with mainstream political values, they did not support conflict and valued consensus and a coming together of society reflecting social values. Despite great efforts to prevent acid house from proceeding, the club culture continued and grew bigger and better into the early 1990s. The acid party scene was greatest in London, Manchester and Leeds yet soon spread throughout the whole of Britain. The police began an extensive series of raids throughout the cities, in illegal acid house parties that occurred in deserted warehouses. In 1990, there was a mass arrest in Leeds at warehouse where 800 people were arrested. Graham Brights 1990 Entertainments act increased the maximum fine for an un-licensed party from i 2000 to i 20,000 and six months imprisonment. Although his law was successful in finally decreasing the number of illegal raves, it was seen as a direct conservative reaction to the mass amount of huge illegal acid house raves of 1989. .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd , .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .postImageUrl , .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .centered-text-area { min-height: 80px; position: relative; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd , .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd:hover , .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd:visited , .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd:active { border:0!important; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .clearfix:after { content: ""; display: table; clear: both; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd { display: block; transition: background-color 250ms; webkit-transition: background-color 250ms; width: 100%; opacity: 1; transition: opacity 250ms; webkit-transition: opacity 250ms; background-color: #95A5A6; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd:active , .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd:hover { opacity: 1; transition: opacity 250ms; webkit-transition: opacity 250ms; background-color: #2C3E50; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .centered-text-area { width: 100%; position: relative ; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .ctaText { border-bottom: 0 solid #fff; color: #2980B9; font-size: 16px; font-weight: bold; margin: 0; padding: 0; text-decoration: underline; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .postTitle { color: #FFFFFF; font-size: 16px; font-weight: 600; margin: 0; padding: 0; width: 100%; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .ctaButton { background-color: #7F8C8D!important; color: #2980B9; border: none; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: none; font-size: 14px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 26px; moz-border-radius: 3px; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-shadow: none; width: 80px; min-height: 80px; background: url(https://artscolumbia.org/wp-content/plugins/intelly-related-posts/assets/images/simple-arrow.png)no-repeat; position: absolute; right: 0; top: 0; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd:hover .ctaButton { background-color: #34495E!important; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .centered-text { display: table; height: 80px; padding-left : 18px; top: 0; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd-content { display: table-cell; margin: 0; padding: 0; padding-right: 108px; position: relative; vertical-align: middle; width: 100%; } .ufa6ed0ddb1f0076d9db373368d9dfccd:after { content: ""; display: block; clear: both; } READ: Music Summary EssayThe criminal justice bill expressed how strongly the government felt about the threat of dance culture with its combination of music, drugs and hordes of lusty people. However, by the time the bill was passed, dance culture and ecstasy had entered the mainstream as a result of Brights law creating the need for property licensed premises. The government versus dance culture title seems to end here. The establishment couldnt defeat the culture and so forced it into the mainstream. They couldnt shut down the dance, so they licensed it and let it free. Clubs were provided with later opening licenses to maintain legal requirements and free drinking water was available in all clubs as a safety precaution. Although the government didnt like what was going on, they couldnt prevent it and therefore ensured by bringing it into the mainstream, it was legal and safer. However according to Broughton and Bill by doing this club culture was no longer a form of rebellion or a counterculture of the youth, because it was legal, it wasnt as exciting. Although club music is still greatly enjoyed by many as a popular form of music, the culture surrounding the music in the early 90s has died. New forms of music such as the entrance of black rap, commercially known as R+B and adaptations of original house, funky house, are becoming increasingly popular; the novelty of club music has worn off and being replaced by these new forms of music. Even though club music has many followers, it hasnt the mass social involvement and impact upon life that it once had.